Happy to Be Holding Your Breath

This thought popped into my head tonight as I eased off of the bus and headed towards home after a 12 hour work day. I love the yoga class I've been going to for most of the fall, and the teacher is phenomenal. We do a breathing exercise which he claims will make our eyes shiny and our skin glow as though we are well rested from a vacation. At one point in the excercise, we hold our breath for about a 15 count and sometimes longer. Shankar always reminds us, "Focus your attention between your 'eye-bros.' Be happy to be here practicing yoga. Happy to be holding your breath longer and longer." And I realize, I AM happy to be holding my breath longer and longer.

I keep taking these giant leaps of faith into my future one year at a time. So far, they've worked out quite nicely. I am grateful to have a breath to hold as it were, and I do feel intensely alive and connected to the people and stories around me. I know I am making a difference and having spiritually fulfilling and meaningful work is beyond measure.

Needless to say, work has been going really well. Communal living on the other hand, not so much. I know we are going to cycle through various stages as a group, but right now, it's all I can do not to run for the hills sometimes. There are still a number of positive benefits, but then I also realized tonight I am in fact living the worst case scenario role play from my interview wherein one roommate does not clean the bathroom for weeks on end. Ewwww. My gut reaction is to not do my chore until conditions improve, but of course, that's not the answer. I am also in my head trying to perfect how to say to someone's face "Please stop being an ass" or "You're being an ass right now" in my "please-pass-the-butter" voice. I'll keep you posted.

And then there's Allie's making aaliyah which has been on my mind for weeks. I'm thrilled for her and simultaneously heartbroken that she's returning without me. Last weekend, I followed a friend's recommendation and found some of the best falafel this side of the Western Wall. It was so close to what I've had in Jerusalem, it seriously brought nostalgic tears to my eyes. I feel as though I am forever homesick- here and there. To further pull on heart strings, I looked up from my booth and realized I was sitting under a painting of the Old City. All the other paintings around Max's are of flowers and abstract art! The pita was so fluffy and chewy that it reminded me of the corner grocery in Arad which sold similar pita. The pita that was our staple with everything from chocolate spread to eggplant dip to hummus. Always with the hummus. Food can truly transport a person! Although I will say the kosher grocery next door though carrying several Israeli brands seems to have its seasons confused. Their bakery is serving hamentashen and not a single sufganyot to be found in the place! Has it really been a year?!!

I am happy to be holding my breath. Not letting my nostrils search for traces of powdered sugar and sweet grease. Still I wonder- what is the danger in loving two places at once?