Another change...

March already. Ironic that the last entry is from the last time I was looking to get settled. Turns out two big windows are much less desirable in a poorly insulated room with little to no heat in December then into January and February.

So here we are. New apartment 6 months after the previous one. Life at 28 is good. Work is rewarding even when there's too much of it. Sometimes I think that's the nature of nonprofits and always bound to be the case. Tonight after 11 hours at work, I came home and danced around in my underwear listening to Ani Difranco while grilling vegetables for dinner. Asparagus is good for the spirit. I have decided this is so.

Talked to Mom for an hour about various moral dilemmas, got into bed, and am reveling in the not needing to take care of anything or anyone else. I have no roommates. Yesterday I went to bed at 6:30 pm. That's right. 6:30. I wasn't feeling well and no one was there to interrupt my sleep. Tonight, I am not washing dishes. No one else needs the sink. Taking out the trash is somehow joyful- it's mine. I clean up after me.

Don't get me wrong, I tend to the needs of others all day long. I love it, enjoy it, think it's important work. At the end of the day, however, not having someone else's hair in my bathroom is glorious. Dear Shitty Slumlord, thank you for the terrible living conditions which forced me to evacuate into my own sanctum of inner peace and happiness. Not to worry, just as soon as I receive my security deposit in the mail, be assured I will be reporting him to ratemylandlord, the Better Business Bureau, will supply the exact address and descriptions of terrible conditions here, and will probably post something on Craigslist. No one should have to live under the conditions we did for as long as we did. Unacceptable. Still, all's well that ends well. One more check for utilities to my former roommate, and that chapter is closed. Such a relief. I don't think I had much more in me to continue to deal with the day to day disaster of that living situation. After a while even the most trivial "features" truly become flaws. No other way about it.

My new place is lovely. Lots of character, and did I mention it's all mine? I still have to pinch myself. The leasing office thus far has been extremely responsive and responsible. It's week two. Can't wait for spring to kick into gear, so I can enjoy the private courtyard. Amazing. The maintenance person is such a dear. I adore Harry.

More soon... my constant promise.

A Room of One's Own

Despite having woken up this morning with a migraine, feeling like death, and having oddly seemingly doubled in size overnight... today was a spectacular day! (It was such a Monday on the metro, that a toddler wouldn't stop fussing and his family said even he was having a hard day!) A few lovely and spectacular things happened along the way. The first, though in no particular order, is that I have managed to find a place to live once I move out of the Avodah house! I move out and move in on August 9th which means I will not need transitional or halfway housing. Hurray!

Job: Check. Place to live: Check. Now I just need bedroom furniture, since I've decided to askew the hassle of bringing up my bed from North Carolina. Though I do miss it so! This was actually one of the things that made me happy today. I remembered how readily yesterday Mike N. offered to help me move, and I think it's simply marvelous to have lovely lovely friends who offer such generous things. Susanna has also been incredible through this entire house hunt process. I am quite fortunate!

But I digress. The other things happened mostly surrounding work. One was that my direct supervisor at my new job expressly said, "Oh no. I don't expect you to know what you're doing the first few weeks on the job." I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to hear those words! The second was when she insisted I stay and eat ice cream cake rather than hurrying back to make more phone calls. Her reiterating that well being comes before work makes my entire body relax with relief. It's been a very crazy few weeks in the world of working two jobs. The client services department has sent out a few emails about client feedback which is also totally rewarding and inspiring. I feel more and more like I can do this job. Something else random happened today at F & F that amused me, but now I can't think of what it was. Hm. Friday the kitchen smelled of fresh delicious basil. That was something.

At MTA things also seemed to fall into place. I wrote my farewell email to the staff which was agonizingly difficult. I was teary eyed more than once, but I got through it. I miss Anne W., Alecia, Gorkie, Jason, and Allison. Maybe it's just my time at last. Tonight as I walked through the office, the peers were doing a training, and one of them was shouting, "No! Herpes is a virus!" I'm going to miss that!

Ok, I've teased you long enough. You might be wondering just where am I going to live?! It's a two bedroom in Columbia Heights. Close to the metro but also near 16th Street. I'm basically living behind the Mexican embassy. It has hardwood floors, and my room has two big windows and a large closet. A major plus in DC.

My roommate is a 27 year old male. We'll see how that goes, but he seems very nice and down to earth. He did Peace Corps in Peru and has a 2 year old rescued cat named Mishi. I'm not one for cats usually, but she's very sweet. I'm going to call her Mishmish which is one of my favorite Hebrew words.

Stay tuned for pictures and updates! August 9th will be the big move. This weekend is our final retreat. Working, cleaning, packing... can't wait to be settled again!

Fireflies, Sprinklers, and the Literate Possum

I don't often pay attention to cycles of the moon. I happened to pick up a paper today though and happened to glance at the weather section where such things are chronicled. Of course this was after looking at my horoscope which was once again eerily accurate.

Today is a new moon. Today I began working for Food & Friends part time. August 4th the moon will be full... and it will be my first full day there following my last official day at MTA. So symbolic! I have one difficult cycle to weather and will hopefully have found a place to live by the end of it. I can't imagine the alternative which a number of people from Avodah are facing looking for places to live with no guarantee of income once their AmeriCorps contracts end.

I had an absolutely incredible first day. Some of the highlights were walking into the building with my close acquaintance Adam who is also now my trainer as I am taking over his position when he leaves for grad school. "Tell Me Something Good" was playing in the kitchen, and there was a tray of cookies that said "Help Yourself." Once again, I have fallen down the rabbit hole.

The entire organization is so efficient that on my first part time day, I already met with HR and filled out paperwork, AND my very official looking nameplate already hangs next to Adam's on the cubicle we currently share. Everyone was so warm and welcoming throughout the day. One of the chefs made a special meal for a meeting, and Adam and I got plates of this delicious food. I am in heaven. Have I mentioned how much good free coffee there is everywhere in the place? It's like they know me!

After running around with volunteers at a pretty hectic pace for most of the morning, Adam surprised me when he suddenly jumped up again and began to say there was somewhere he needed to be. I assumed it was going to be back upstairs with a task he had forgotten. He appeared very serious about this mission. That's when he announced his team was playing bocce ball outside, and we needed to go join them! I can't begin to relate to you the hilarity of this moment. As hard as he was working, he took those twenty or so minutes with everyone else on his and the opposing team to break away. It's so reassuring as to the work environment I have just committed myself.

Throughout our five hours together, Adam told me no less than eight times how glad he was that I am there. It's such a fabulous feeling! I can't wait to see what day two holds in store. I'm a little nervous for the day he leaves, and I'm on my own. Though I know that I can handle this position after my learning curve at MTA, and it's helpful that obviously he thinks I can handle this. I keep thinking of Stacy's phrases from Thailand... same same. Same same but different. Same same but better!

Everyone has such fun and personable things decorating their work spaces, and part of me is thrilled to move in and make the space my own. The first item will be the Foodie magnetic poetry from Mom along with an old cookie sheet. It tickles me to think of it. A reminder of a wonderful time at home... from which I really did not want to come back this week. I've pulled into life here already after just two days. I did not think I would get over NC so fast. Such is life.

More (maybe) soon!

Land Bridge

Scintillate

So much! It is becoming apparent that I am not getting 8 hours of sleep tonight, although I did nap throughout today's rainy Sunday. I love DC, and I love my job. I guess those are the key pieces to life lately. It helps immensely, since I am living in one and spending most of my time at the other. A little more than half of Avodah has now gone by and starting to think about what's next feels inevitable and still somewhat anxiety inducing. When I'm not focusing on the future or my long to-do lists, here are a few thoughts which continue to percolate in my mind:

1) One time, Vic and I were on a road trip. Only the road trip was down to Atlanta to our grandfather's funeral. On the way, we stopped for gas, and I got a scratch&win lottery ticket. I didn't win. Maybe that makes it a scratch&lose. Anyway, Victor said, "Maybe that's the best thing that will happen today." I questioned him on it, pointing out the rest of the day would continue to be difficult, so how would losing be a good thing? We got into some very philosophical conversation, although by the time we reached Atlanta, we were totally slap happy and ridiculous. I'm pretty sure I had Dr. Pepper. How I miss road trips with DP or sweet tea... and of course my brother! I often think to myself though when things don't go as planned, what if this is the best thing that happens today? What if being late actually keeps me somehow out of harm's way? I guess it just helps me keep perspective. Thanks, little brother!

2) While traveling in the north of Israel last year, we hiked through a park with some remarkable land features. There's a picture of us standing on a land bridge hundreds of feet above the ground. The crazy thing is, we had no idea there were only a few feet of earth below us! I will try to attach the photo at the bottom of this post. When we walked across, we thought it was solid ground on a hilltop. In reality, there was a gaping hole below us that we simply couldn't see from our vantage point. I remember thinking, had I known, I would not have wanted to walk that path. I think life and its challenges are a lot like that. If we had any idea of how high up we are or how far we stand to fall, we might never cross some paths or bridges. But we do! We take one day at a time. We take risks. We risk our money, our safety, our hearts. If we're very lucky, we truly LIVE. And all the while, we have no idea, there are only a few feet of earth between us and the sky.

3) It strikes me as interesting that last year I was in Israel during the seventh year of rest, and this year, I am in Washington DC at a time of one of the country's most historically significant elections doing a program named Avodah meaning to study, work, and pray. I keep taking these leaps of faith, but so far, I have managed to land in exactly the right places, at what feels like for me the exact right times. Pretty priceless given how little time we all have truly to live our lives and to do something which in the best of all possible worlds is somehow significant to ourselves or others. Then again, Voltaire tells us in Candid that we always live in the best of all possible worlds. I'm sensing a theme to tonight's post...

4) Although life has been extremely busy lately, I had a chance to sleep in yesterday. I also got some priceless down time to think and reflect. What I realized is this: At sixteen or so, I decided to live. I'm fortunate to have known a dark place and to have emerged from it with a self-determination for life which allows me not to take any day as a given. At twenty-one I learned how not to take that life for granted or my health. I learned my family and my community would support me if I fell... and couldn't get back up by myself even when it wasn't always the people who I expected to be there. I learned patience with myself and with life. At twenty-four I learned I did not have to stay at a job where I was miserable and that taking a leap of faith could prove to be quite rewarding. I first saw that placing my trust in the universe could be ok. Things would work out. At twenty-five I got on a plane after only a month or less of planning and headed to Israel. It all worked out. At twenty-six I started actively practicing patience towards others and truly came to understand that good things will continue to happen as long as I continued to see the good around me. I learned I could make my own dreams come true. I learned having a job did not mean stability and happiness. I learned it was possible to have immense amounts of fun while at work. I can see how much I've grown, and I hear it from others close to me. I think I have begun to feel serenity. I have more peace in my life and in my heart at twenty-seven than I have ever known before. The job front makes me nervous, since my contract is done in a few months. However, as our deputy director pointed out the other day, she thinks as long as I look for a work environment and people that I enjoy, that I am now someone who will be happy doing any position presented to me. That's pretty great!

I pray a lot more than I have in the past. Mostly I say prayers of gratitude. I say prayers for safe keeping. I say prayers for continued growth and wisdom. I am truly blessed.